Happy pride month! An interview with a person who is a member of the pride community

As humans we are trying to evolve from our conservative mindset and try to be open and the openness and liberty wouldn’t come as smooth as butter it would take a lot of peoples cumulative struggle and a lot of failures to reach our dream world. This is an interview with an author I came across who is a person of Lgbtq community with the aim of bringing sensitivity and change.

Lilac: Q1. Generally most of the people self realise and become aware of who they are in high school ironically it is the time where they are forced to hide who they truly are since it’s not well accepted by the school system. How tough was it for you in your school? Was there anyone did you open up to? And do they see in you in a different light once you tell them so?

They: So for me, I would firstly say that I think it is not forced upon us if we want to hide it or not. We generally prefer hiding our sexual preference is because of the multiple reactions that would come in our way especially when we are not ready. For me it was not that tough for handling my sexual preference with people around. My best friends reacted in a positive way when I opened upto them, and hence I would not be facing any problem regarding it. Also since I was lucky enough to choose my friends in my style and according to my space, so they were really supportive when I came out to them..

Lilac: Q2. Most of the grown ups who supposedly know everything believe being a part of Lgbtq community is nothing much other than a phase or sometimes they use their wild imagination to declare that the people who are a part of it has something wrong with their mind. Did you ever come across such situation? How do you deal with it if yes?

They: Firstly it is a really nice question. I would say that I have never disagreed about my sexuality as and when I found my real self, but also yes It generally feels like a phase as to why am I liking the gender which I am not supposed to. For me I would say that I let the things to go easy with the flow and was able to discover myself

Q3. When a person comes out from the closet to us it means they have put an immense trust on us because it is hard than what it seems because of the watchful eyes. What is the best way to make them feel safe? What would be the best reaction and emotional support that could be given to them?

They: I think that we should feel lucky and be happier about the fact to be considered as a person whom a folk trusted immensely and was able to show their real self.

Lilac: Q4. What developments or changes do you wish to be made in the society for it to become the vision world to live in and a better future?

They: For having a better future, we need to normalize things. We need to break as many social norms as possible!!

Lilac: Q5. Are they any misconceptions or stereotypes that you ever had to face?

They: ughh! yesss, people are not afraid to ask if I am the top or bottom, or how will I have babies or they doubt if this is just a phase!!!!! I mean come on, I have wasted so many years of my life thinking of it as a phase, and now when I am sure of who I really am, then you are again trying to push me down in those years of exploration!!!!!!

(sorry got a little personal over here!!!)

Lilac : it’s totally fine it’s better to speak up than bottle in. I do hope people stop asking these at least after reading this.

Lilac: Q6. I believe that our mind gets shaped by our experiences we face and also by observing the events occurring around us. Children and a lot of people minds of various ages are driven into a direction of thoughts through television and internet. Sometimes it’s beneficial but there are times when portray some content for their gain and mislead the public. In the name of comedy they use trans people and gay elements but in reality I find it is pretty offensive. What are your thoughts on it?

They: yess! The whole point is not only to showcase the problems of the community, instead also to raise voce for them. I have seen ads and movies who use them as elements of pain and grief only!!! but the real reason of the pain is never ever specified.. They act to be neutral, which according to me is that a person who is neutral is always against, since that person doesn’t has any say for the community!

Lilac: Q7. As for the last question are they any changes do you wish for in the schools so people could understand and be open minded enough to not backlash for the people who came out?

They: For me, I would say that we can just try to give the best of our support. Because when the country’s laws itself does not supportts the community then how can we expect from schools. But if we go in a deeper sense, then ppl belonging to the community whether be out or not and the ppl who are allies should always call out on bullies who not only performs homophobic activities but also are a carrier of stereotypes which we need to break.

Thank you for sharing your views and answering the questions they are very well described.

As I couldn’t post anything in the starting of the pride month I decided to post an interview with a person who is a part of the pride community at the end of the month. I hope the interview served its purpose. Happy pride month!! One love❤️ ( also sorry if the interview is unprofessional, this is my first time and trying to learn to do better).

“ If I learned something from Harry Potter it’s that no one deserves to live in a closet” – Anonymous

Happy pride month! An interview with a person who is a member of the pride community

As humans we are trying to evolve from our conservative mindset and try to be open and the openness and liberty wouldn’t come as smooth as butter it would take a lot of peoples cumulative struggle and a lot of failures to reach our dream world. This is an interview with an author I came across who is a person of Lgbtq community with the aim of bringing sensitivity and change.

Lilac: Q1. Generally most of the people self realise and become aware of who they are in high school ironically it is the time where they are forced to hide who they truly are since it’s not well accepted by the school system. How tough was it for you in your school? Was there anyone did you open up to? And do they see in you in a different light once you tell them so?

They: So for me, I would firstly say that I think it is not forced upon us if we want to hide it or not. We generally prefer hiding our sexual preference is because of the multiple reactions that would come in our way especially when we are not ready. For me it was not that tough for handling my sexual preference with people around. My best friends reacted in a positive way when I opened upto them, and hence I would not be facing any problem regarding it. Also since I was lucky enough to choose my friends in my style and according to my space, so they were really supportive when I came out to them..

Lilac: Q2. Most of the grown ups who supposedly know everything believe being a part of Lgbtq community is nothing much other than a phase or sometimes they use their wild imagination to declare that the people who are a part of it has something wrong with their mind. Did you ever come across such situation? How do you deal with it if yes?

They: Firstly it is a really nice question. I would say that I have never disagreed about my sexuality as and when I found my real self, but also yes It generally feels like a phase as to why am I liking the gender which I am not supposed to. For me I would say that I let the things to go easy with the flow and was able to discover myself

Q3. When a person comes out from the closet to us it means they have put an immense trust on us because it is hard than what it seems because of the watchful eyes. What is the best way to make them feel safe? What would be the best reaction and emotional support that could be given to them?

They: I think that we should feel lucky and be happier about the fact to be considered as a person whom a folk trusted immensely and was able to show their real self.

Lilac: Q4. What developments or changes do you wish to be made in the society for it to become the vision world to live in and a better future?

They: For having a better future, we need to normalize things. We need to break as many social norms as possible!!

Lilac: Q5. Are they any misconceptions or stereotypes that you ever had to face?

They: ughh! yesss, people are not afraid to ask if I am the top or bottom, or how will I have babies or they doubt if this is just a phase!!!!! I mean come on, I have wasted so many years of my life thinking of it as a phase, and now when I am sure of who I really am, then you are again trying to push me down in those years of exploration!!!!!!

(sorry got a little personal over here!!!)

Lilac : it’s totally fine it’s better to speak up than bottle in. I do hope people stop asking these at least after reading this.

Lilac: Q6. I believe that our mind gets shaped by our experiences we face and also by observing the events occurring around us. Children and a lot of people minds of various ages are driven into a direction of thoughts through television and internet. Sometimes it’s beneficial but there are times when portray some content for their gain and mislead the public. In the name of comedy they use trans people and gay elements but in reality I find it is pretty offensive. What are your thoughts on it?

They: yess! The whole point is not only to showcase the problems of the community, instead also to raise voce for them. I have seen ads and movies who use them as elements of pain and grief only!!! but the real reason of the pain is never ever specified.. They act to be neutral, which according to me is that a person who is neutral is always against, since that person doesn’t has any say for the community!

Lilac: Q7. As for the last question are they any changes do you wish for in the schools so people could understand and be open minded enough to not backlash for the people who came out?

They: For me, I would say that we can just try to give the best of our support. Because when the country’s laws itself does not supportts the community then how can we expect from schools. But if we go in a deeper sense, then ppl belonging to the community whether be out or not and the ppl who are allies should always call out on bullies who not only performs homophobic activities but also are a carrier of stereotypes which we need to break.

Thank you for sharing your views and answering the questions they are very well described.

As I couldn’t post anything in the starting of the pride month I decided to post an interview with a person who is a part of the pride community at the end of the month. I hope the interview served its purpose. Happy pride month!! One love❤️ ( also sorry if the interview is unprofessional, this is my first time and trying to learn to do better).

“ If I learned something from Harry Potter it’s that no one deserves to live in a closet” – Anonymous

Ashes!

The mask worn everyday makes me wonder if it really is

Reflection seen, makes me question

What colour might my ashes be?

In this vast ocean with countless fishes

Who do they perceive to be?

Good or bad how do they see?

What colour might their ashes be?

Is this the one who has unwoven words struck in her heart?

Trying to voice out that can’t be heard

My body,my face, my place

Makes me feel a stranger to myself

A mirror seems like a lie, my reflection seems strange

I wonder if my ashes would look familiar?

– Lilac.

( this was written last week but I forgot to post it. I dont even know how I wrote this, its kind of depressing when I read it again now.)

Daily rants!

My relation with my brother has not been good. But I am trying to work on it. It isn’t like it has never been but it just deteriorated. I think we got a big space when I was in 7th and he was in 12th grade. It was hard for both of us. He was going through a phase which doesn’t excuse for the things he had done although I was a nosy and strict as a kid I could have been a little loose, I wish I could have understood what he had gone through and sympathise with him ( I still don’t know what he had gone through but I just know he had a tough time) . In the end we were both at fault. To measure who is at a bigger fault is pointless. I hated him so much, I made a promise to myself that to never hate anyone because I didn’t want to badmouth and hate people because I know I cannot live with the guilt of hating them when they were alive, I try to avoid and stay neutral towards people I don’t like, which also explains why I don’t fight back. Well these all promises were broken when it came to my brother. I realised that hating not only brings doom to them but it also eats you alive and I would be in jail with the bars called as past. I don’t want to get stuck in that cycle of hatred and not notice the happiness before me. I am always envious towards those siblings where they get along with each other so well, they have fun and mischief together. I wish I could do that. I decided recently there is no use in wishing and trying to stay neutral towards him, I need to make a move. I have written a letter telling how sorry I am because I don’t have the gut to tell him on his face, I don’t want to cry before him. I did not give him yet, I planned on to give it to him on his birthday which is 5 days from today. I also planned a nice cake to celebrate his birthday ( I am making every effort I could make to make his day really happy)I just hope I don’t change my mind and not give the letter, I just hope time leads and allows me to give him this. I am willing to put my wounds in the farthest place if he just says sorry and tell me that he regretted what he had done. There is no use in hiding it to ourselves if we are sorry the other person is not a psychic and will never know until we say so, which is something I believe in. All the time I got depressed and wasted my tears on I am willing to put all that away because I know my mom wants nothing more but a happy family. The flaw lies in me too, I take every word people say to the core that it effects me deeply, although he used harsh words and actions. I will try my best to not mind them and take as it is. There was a point in these last few months I really wanted to yell on his face to shut up because his words cause me depression. But couldn’t bring myself to. I have no idea why I am this way either, but I am working on it. I will become a better half and not be fragile enough for every word to shake me. I hope we both get along I don’t even know if he realises the efforts I am making to restore our bond but I think he definitely knows something is different. I just hope he forgives me. I hope we can begin again. “I hope he knows his fault to. I hope we could be the brother and the sister”.I don’t even know why am I even posting it there is nothing but my daily record of weird feelings I have.

Faith!

It means different things to different people. Some are blinded by it, for some its their light to run and for some its their only false hope that they cannot gamble on. People often take believing in God and faith is same. Well I think there is a difference because I am an atheist. I don’t believe in God and I am not pessimistic and nosy enough to criticize others faith or their choices. I spoke with my bff after a long time at night. I drank coffee so I could stay awake. I call her Varsha. Speaking with her brought so many memories back, they are good and yet they could not be revived. It also brought so many bad memories.

I sometimes wonder how faith works and how people are led by it. My closest friend relative expired recently I know how frantically she prayed to keep her alive but still that wish did not come true. I find her very strong I would be very mad and at loss of what to do. I know how she cried her lungs out when she found out that her relative passed away but she did not complain or loose faith in God that she prayed a lot to. She made a reel of a God painting she made along with a spiritual song. I wonder how she is still so firm in her belief. Faith is magical. I did not want to ask her I am afraid I might trigger some bad memories that she wishes to forget. This isn’t a story about her but a lot of people near me are dying and if you see the news you can understand how grave the situation is in India. My dad who is a doctor saves lives at the same time he sees death everyday. I wonder how his faith works. Well I know humans are mortal and nothing lasts forever but I dont think anyone would be thinking logically when we loose our loved ones. Faith is really strong it keeps us going. Only my close friends know that I am an atheist, I dont even dream about telling it to my parents I guess there is not even a need. Just because I don’t believe that doesn’t mean I would do something bad or disrespect god. Everyone’s faith lies differently in different things. I have faith in me, not that I am confident or anything its better to get angry at myself than get heartbroken by resting my faith in others. The reason of me being an atheist, I actually told no one becomes it isn’t a single memory that led me to sadly they were many factors that led me through this path. I hope you find your faith.

– Lilac.

2. For fun!

We got holidays for 4 days which is like a surprise to us, to enjoy our un – interesting yet fun lives. We were talking about how we spent the holidays,when one of my friend who we decided to call her as Incredible Ikshuda :inspiration from Amazing Amy( gone girl movie ref.) told me that she cleaned her closet. Which was shocking, because the last thing in my bucket list of to do things on a holiday would still not be to clean my closet. I don’t even remember last time cleaning it and I told her I wouldn’t be surprised to find new creatures or a ghost in it. Which led to another topic because we were jobless. I said I would be friends with it and we could add it in her group. To scare our classmates.

This is dumb…I know but we were jobless. We tried to name it and one of my friend who I decided to call her as Pixie ( no she is not fairy…not even close to one) wanted to name it but needed it’s gender. She wanted to name her Amy but I was against the idea because we didn’t know it’s gender and Amy is definitely a girl’s name and we couldn’t assume that. Yup even ghosts have rights! Yes we all are perfectly healthy individuals this discussion was only risen because we were bored and not delusional anyways I went away for a minute and they started roasting me that I went back to write my poems for the blog…I mean PRIORITIES. Then Pixie came up with this amazing, non creative, non predictive poem

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Our ghost is sue.

Well she wanted to be famous in blogging world and asked me to put this non creative poem. Well here you go. In the end we did not name our ghost. Incredible Ikshuda was too cool to take part in this discussion she was a just an audience btw. We have a group chat which is named “ hi is” we are not proud of it and pixie just randomly came up with it. We wanted to change the group name but in the end after racking our heads we didn’t come up with one. We have “ S.I.A” as an option. We came up with it like all non creative people we just added our names first letters.

Well this is about ghost friend who will did not name yet. Any suggestions would be great and also I wanted to write a post on a topic which I don’t remember now. Dumb me who thought I would remember without noting it down. Lol

-Lilac.

Tears to pearls

Hurts to see my tears turn to pearls for you

Even if I try,try to runaway

You have a power over me like a hurricane

You turn my life upside down, wreck me to parts

Hurts to see the other person win

Even if I know I am more deserving

Who is to deserve?

What is to deserve?

No one knows

Changes from person to person

Eye to eye

Like the lines on our hands

Cannot use the tears which turned to pearls.

– Lilac.

Quartz eyes

Blazing sun in the darkness
Quartz crystals as my eyes, diamonds and pearls were in disguise
Pins and needles all over, walked through the fire
To sit on the souls of the predecessors.


Who knew when the black swan turned white?
Who knew the ying of my yang dominated me?
Stars aligned as a heart, guiding me to the new horizon
Will I survive no one knew but the quartz eyes led me through
The polar star in the North, I knew this wasn’t enough


There comes a brave knight with a dagger in his hand and courage in his heart
His yang was greater than mine, the fire was soaring high
At last I lost my quartz eyes, but the funny thing is
I recognised pearls and diamonds in my demise.

-Lilac.

Coincidentally

As a person who does not generally believe in coincidence loved the movie which was filled with coincidences and how their life changed with our narrator “time”. This is about a movie I have seen yesterday it touched my heart in so many ways that I would like to mention some out of the many things I like about it.

Well I liked the way how the movie was unpredictable like the main lead. You don’t know where the movie goes until the end…until then it’s just a web of stories of different people connected to a single person.

I liked the old couple who were searching for each other in the movie apparently they never spoke a single word but just fell and talked with their eyes which is pretty different from present day scenario it showed no lust but sadly they had to part because the female’s parent were furious about the word “love”. This was the most common case in previous generation because people were pretty conservative and it also shows how the parents played a huge role in locking the happiness of a child. Even though they were separated they had been searching for each other for more than 50 years he became a post man so he could meet her hoping that one day she would open the door he knocked upon and would let him inside.

The next is about a female doctor who tried to kill her self because of the guilt which has been weighing upon her shoulder. There was a mishap in her first surgery and the baby died she was blamed for this became the talk of the town. I liked the way how they showed that media might add fuel to the fire she once got state first in her exams and it got published with crying picture but the second time when she came on news paper that is when she made a mistake in a surgery it was smiling one. This seems so insignificant yet it’s significant.

This movie has shown many feelings and stories that it is not possible to describe in my unprofessional writings I suggest to watch it. I tried not to give any spoilers it’s must watch. The movie name is “maara ” it’s an Indian movie you can find it in Amazon Prime.

– Lilac.

Personal note : when you be freely and talk with everyone and if someone gives a rude reply for a friendly question or an expression does that mean you don’t have self respect? Y do I feel like I need to constantly change myself and just be in a corner than be friendly with people…people scare me.

I am lost!

I am at crossroads am I supposed to change for who I am? Or should I just continue being like this? As a person with not so healthy school days I get very sensitive when I get hate. The hate might not be too harsh but giving rude answers when I am being friendly or ignoring me without a reason and treating me as if I am this air. I am very sensitive about this, I feel like a looser, a loner….maybe this is all in my head bed I know I have a lot of people that love me. But I just can’t help but feeling this way.

I don’t generally like troubling others so I just nod and go with everything they say even with my family. The same situation occurred day before yesterday when we were ordering food my brother had to pause and took a whole 10 minute lecture about how bad the word “alright” might turn out to be….when I mean lecture it’s just me being yelled upon. I know that no one can know what I want or what is in my head until I speak upon but I feel like I am troubling them…I am realising that asking for what you want and getting things done reduces the damage upon myself, because I have been told I wouldn’t survive if I don’t be strong, because I have been told not everyone takes consideration of other people’s feelings. I try to be like that and act cool but I just go back to my old friendly way. This is hard. I want to be a better person but I don’t want to change myself as a whole. Can I just go cry in a corner? Am I being too emotional?? Y do I act like a looser? I know this is all in my head but I just can’t help but feeling this way.

Survival is hard…..everyone fights so hard to survive that they forget to live in the present.

– Lilac.

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