I feel like I have fallen into a black hole with no place to return to. Being in a constant loop which is called the circle of life. This loop never seems to end and although there are some amuse it doesn’t compare to the sadness it with holds.
I was told not everyone sleeps peacefully at night and my case is nothing special. I was told my grief doesn’t matter when compared to theirs. I must hold it in just like theirs. Because everyone are withstanding to and I must not burst.
I am not “everyone” I would like to sleep peacefully and also cry or whine when I feel pain. I don’t want to hold it in and wait until a day when I finally burst open until I am just nothing but a torn pieces of rubber. I don’t want to be mended and mixed to how they see fit. I am not a polythene which they could make. I am a human with emotions poured into my brain and not my heart. I hope I could use that without your judgemental illogical understanding statement.
Do not try to console me by telling me your pain hurts more. Do not compare our griefs. Mine is no less than yours and I really wish if u stop trying to console me because it is like rubbing salt to my wound and at the end all our griefs bring nothing but pain.
The shine and warmth of my life where are “you”. I am scared to be lost in the darkness to no where to return to. Do not push me if you can not pull me. Let me be as I am. Crying in a corner. What would u say if you see who I am now? Would you cry or feel disgusted? Would you still come near me or would you like to swap me? Tell me!
To everyone who is having a rough time I console myself telling that I am a caterpillar right now…ugly…and soon would become a butterfly that everyone would look up to if I just crawl and bear the hardships a little. I just want tell that this is just a phase which is going to end nothing stays forever and not even these problems. So just stay strong and never give up because you will turn out to be a beautiful butterfly someday. We will go through metamorphosis together ❤ .
– Lilac.
dazed world 